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This “well-organized, valuable” guide draws from somatic-based psychotherapy and neuroscience to offer “clear guidance” for coping with childhood trauma (Peter Levine, author of Waking the Tiger and In an Unspoken Voice).
Although it may seem that people suffer from an endless number of emotional problems and challenges, Laurence Heller and Aline LaPierre maintain that most of these can be traced to five biologically based organizing principles: the need for connection, attunement, trust, autonomy, and love-sexuality. They describe how early trauma impairs the capacity for connection to self and others and how the ensuing diminished aliveness is the hidden dimension that underlies most psychological and many physiological problems.
Heller and LaPierre introduce the NeuroAffective Relational Model® (NARM), a method that integrates bottom-up and top-down approaches to regulate the nervous system and resolve distortions of identity such as low self-esteem, shame, and chronic self-judgment that are the outcome of developmental and relational trauma. While not ignoring a person’s past, NARM emphasizes working in the present moment to focus on clients’ strengths, resources, and resiliency in order to integrate the experience of connection that sustains our physiology, psychology, and capacity for relationship.

19 reviews for Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship

  1. Hammer
    December 2, 2023
    5.0 out of 5 stars Easy read. Very informative
    Read this while recovering as victim of narcissist. Very informative and encouraging
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    Alyssa Olson
    August 20, 2023
    5.0 out of 5 stars Everyone should know about this book
    Very important information! The book has helped me understand the various types of trauma that people can have and has helped me identify my own to re...More
    Very important information! The book has helped me understand the various types of trauma that people can have and has helped me identify my own to recognize and release.
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    WildSky
    June 7, 2023
    5.0 out of 5 stars Balanced, broad, and deep
    There is much wisdom these days on trauma and this book is near the tipy-top of the peak of most skillful approaches and views.
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    Nancy Cobb
    December 22, 2022
    5.0 out of 5 stars A very helpful book
    It was a very helpful book and had a lot of good information in it
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    CJ Scarlet
    September 5, 2021
    5.0 out of 5 stars THE best self help book I've ever read!
    I've lost count of the self help books I've read, but this one tops them all. I saw myself in the pages and felt so seen and understood. I'm buying co...More
    I've lost count of the self help books I've read, but this one tops them all. I saw myself in the pages and felt so seen and understood. I'm buying copies for others in my life who need this wisdom.
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    Julie Mills
    January 16, 2021
    5.0 out of 5 stars Saved my life!
    I'm not being dramatic, just factual. I'm one of the developmentally traumatized adults who lives a lonely, lifeless life. I've been to MANY therapi...More
    I'm not being dramatic, just factual. I'm one of the developmentally traumatized adults who lives a lonely, lifeless life. I've been to MANY therapists who've taken great pride in themselves with their diagnosis that I'm co-dependent. One told me to get a cat for my loneliness. Another told me that adult coloring is a creative outlet. Another told me to Let Go and Let God! Which all left me alone again. On my own again. And reinforced that there is no one to help me. And then came NARM!!! This book is both fascinating and well-written for BOTH therapists and lay-people. Thank you with all my heart!
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    Josephine March
    May 28, 2020
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book on Developmental Trauma
    Until my therapist recommended this book, I had no knowledge of developmental trauma. Prior to reading this book, I thought all traumas were shock-bas...More
    Until my therapist recommended this book, I had no knowledge of developmental trauma. Prior to reading this book, I thought all traumas were shock-based. The authors carefully and thoroughly explain the differences between these two types of traumas.

    I will be reading it again as there is such a dense concentration of helpful and healing tools/ resources presented over the course of these pages. At times, it was not easy to read, but the authors conveyed their message of hope and healing in a gentle, non-judgmental, helpful manner. I learned a lot from this book. Worth every penny.
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    Ray Thomsom
    August 24, 2019
    5.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding Book
    This book simply and very clearly explains every thing you want to know about trauma and how it impacts your life.Its the very best I've seen and I st...More
    This book simply and very clearly explains every thing you want to know about trauma and how it impacts your life.
    Its the very best I've seen and I strongly recommend it if you want to learn about this field. If you want to reverse trauma and recapture your life then also buy "Healing Trauma" by Peter Lavine
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    In Houston
    July 5, 2019
    4.0 out of 5 stars A must for all
    Good book
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    Jamie
    February 21, 2019
    4.0 out of 5 stars Good read
    Easy to follow book with charts and graphs
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    Jwaddell
    August 27, 2018
    5.0 out of 5 stars Couldn't be better!
    There's really no better way to describe this book than to say that reading it was like cleaning out a deep wound from my soul. It hurt, a lot, but th...More
    There's really no better way to describe this book than to say that reading it was like cleaning out a deep wound from my soul. It hurt, a lot, but the understanding to self that I gained was transformational and nothing short of a miracle! This book helped me heal to the point that social interaction became more and more comfortable as I brought my new awareness to myself in relation to others.
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    Kathleen
    June 29, 2017
    5.0 out of 5 stars Learned how Trauma and Disconnection in Childhood affects us
    One of the most important topics of our world, that can explain most of the violence, narcissism, addiction and bullying, in my mind... it is a clinic...More
    One of the most important topics of our world, that can explain most of the violence, narcissism, addiction and bullying, in my mind... it is a clinical work that translates for a nonclinical reader interested in how almost all of us are injured from childhood and how we can integrate and resolve these injuries so we don't continue to injure others in our adult life. It acknowledges that our bodies, not just our minds are part of the process of healing and processing. It focuses on attachment issues with children and their parents, and the different stages of childhood that trauma affects, and how a clinician can work with a client, and how a client has been affected by the trauma in that childhood stage.
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    jw
    March 24, 2017
    4.0 out of 5 stars Good coverage of the topic
    I ordered this as a self-help book. All I can say is it is really effective. I couldn't finish it though, because it kept making me cry too much.
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    Isaac Hylton
    December 25, 2016
    4.0 out of 5 stars Helpful, but more for Therapists than Clients.
    This is a very thorough treatise. It's geared a bit more toward therapists, so it's a bit light on techniques for clients without a therapist.
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    TheHappyGentleman
    March 22, 2016
    5.0 out of 5 stars The best book on trauma available to the public.
    This is one of the clearest and most comprehensive books on the issue of trauma and its impacts that I have come across. I have read dozens and rate t...More
    This is one of the clearest and most comprehensive books on the issue of trauma and its impacts that I have come across. I have read dozens and rate this above them all.

    The book remains focused on the issue of trauma and its concrete impacts. Rather than getting dogmatic or attempting to discredit, the authors take an integrative and wholistic approach that rewards the reader with a very sensible, full picture of trauma and how it works on both the biology and the spirit/mind/emotions/psyche. While intended for therapists most likely, it is of obvious interest to anyone suffering from early trauma who wishes to have control over their treatment and recovery.
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    Brenda L. Rivera
    November 22, 2015
    5.0 out of 5 stars The best book about trauma I have ever encounter
    The best book about trauma I have ever encounter. If you have read tons of books, have done lots of work on yourself, have tried different healing mod...More
    The best book about trauma I have ever encounter. If you have read tons of books, have done lots of work on yourself, have tried different healing modalities and have seen a few different therapist and yet, years after still know that there is something that doesn't quite fit because certain emotions just keep coming up, then this is your book!!!!!! This book is so packed with information I feel like I graduated from a psychology class. You will find yourself and understand so much more about yourself , your past , your trauma , the " why " this and that . I can not recommend enough. I first borrowed the audiobook and then I had to buy the actual physical one. It's your life and you deserve to heal . Much love and blessings in your path to integration.
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    Lucy Nelson
    December 20, 2014
    5.0 out of 5 stars amazing guide for complex trauma
    I stumbled upon this book through a friend who is a therapist. When I heard the words "developmental trauma", something rang true. I have been through...More
    I stumbled upon this book through a friend who is a therapist. When I heard the words "developmental trauma", something rang true. I have been through about 7 years of therapy, feeling like no diagnosis or treatment modality has fit me best or helped me much. My current therapist practices somatic experiencing, which this book references often. As soon as I started this book I was amazed to see myself described, in detail, like never before. I finally felt like I'd found a manual on myself. Not only that, but a treatment plan! It took me a few weeks to finish the book, and I feel like in that time I've suddenly learned how to track my emotions and experience my nervous system reintegrating and settling down. My plan now is to read it again with a notebook at my side to take notes. This is a rather clinical text - it's very detailed and involved, which is wonderfully thorough, but I know that I missed important points while trying to absorb something else. So I will read it again and again. I feel like I've found a manual that will give me my life, for the first time ever.
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    Cheryl
    September 13, 2014
    5.0 out of 5 stars There is compassion in understanding...
    Since we encounter the defenses born from the developmental traumas of every person we enter into a relationship with, is this not a critical read for...More
    Since we encounter the defenses born from the developmental traumas of every person we enter into a relationship with, is this not a critical read for everyone? By understanding our own defenses, and by understanding the defenses of others, and where they all stem from, we add compassion to our lives. We no longer need to wonder why people act the way they do, nor why we act the way we do. We can replace the taking it personally and the wondering why with compassion born of understanding. And that is very very very healing. A small step for each one of us is a small step for mankind towards world peace.
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    Anne J. Gibson
    October 22, 2013
    5.0 out of 5 stars It's ME It's Me
    I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD. It came as a terrible shock! I didn't understand what that meant! This book helped me understand and be compassi...More
    I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD. It came as a terrible shock! I didn't understand what that meant! This book helped me understand and be compassionate towards myself. It is an amazing read! Clearly written, compassionate and thorough. It brought into focus so much of what I had been living with but never imagined there was an understanding of, never mind a solution. I have a trauma therapist who is great but couldn't possibly answer all the questions I had. I couldn't articulate even what I was thinking or feeling. I took this book to her and she loved it. Now, our sessions are so much more informed and effective. Just having the WORDS to use have given me great relief, hope and acceptance. I re-read sections when I get confused and overwhelmed and this book gives me the awareness and permission to speak the unspeakable. What a god-sent! My "reality" now has a voice! Thank you!
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